Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
