I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
