Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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