If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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