ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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