That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
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I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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