And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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