I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
