My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
