I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize