its not stalking. its research.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm getting married
To pizza
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
