Im at strip club and am horny
If that was your dad, he is hot
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
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The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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