you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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