Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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