i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
