Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
