Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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