Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
