wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
