okay pat passed out under dana's car
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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