what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
