1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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