I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
