Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize