Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
