I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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