I think I died a long time ago.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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