I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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