i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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