Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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