I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize