you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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