is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
