Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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