omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
