Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
