If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
