is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
tonight lets celebrate not being married
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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