problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
