guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
