I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
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I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
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I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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