Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize