im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
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All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
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