Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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