You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
