Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
