yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
