thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
