I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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