Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
