yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
