I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
