puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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