Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
