I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Come on in and take your pants off
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