masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize