Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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