the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
