You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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