Well apparently he's into motor boating.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
