Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
