He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
